IVAN

The first time I saw you. You ignored me. Yet, you continued to amaze me. I was reluctant to let you in. I was still faithful to aunty Ah Yee. The more I visited you, the more I was drawn to you. At last, I let you in. Your hands where like magic. Each and every angle you made it look beautiful. I started to receive complements of your magical art work.

You where the first who encouraged me to color my hair. I was afraid. Yet you encouraged me gently. You let me take my own time in making my decision. And as soon I uttered out the word YES. You quickly whipped out your magic potion and your magic hands were soon at work. Soon I was the proud owner of an amazing colored hair. As usual complements was flying around me. As I knew it, coloring hair became my cup of tea and like a little lamb I followed your word.

I remember there was once. I was too lazy to visit you. So I decided to make a trip to the nearest of your kind. I did the normal thing and hair color. But to my horror, the hair color was utterly disgusting horrible. I looked like a pirated dvd seller. I quickly ran to you, to rescue me of my utterly stupid decision of going to that god forsaken place. You scolded me and once again your magical hands were at work. And soon, I looked like how you wanted me to look. I will always remember that. Later on you became my saviour. It was as though I've fallen in love with you.

Its been months now since the last time I've seen you. Needless to picture how my hair looks now. A total mob of wild jungle with withering depressing colors. Each and almost every week I would pop in to get a glimpse of you. But sadly, you were never to be seen sitting in your favorite chair. Many have said that I should go and find another. But I just can't. Its because I've fallen in love with your magical hands. I know I will never ever find that same magical hands again. You'll always be my number one.... Always....

I pray and hope that you do get well.
You simply must...
Because your my hair hero!!!

My fond memories in primary school.

Who were your seatmates?
Ala lazy ar wanna remember. I know their faces can't remember their names. I know I know shame on me.

Still remember your English teacher?
Std 1: Can't remember
Std 2: Mrs. Liew. She whack me once on my hand.
Std 3: Mrs. Morais. She was pretty short and sharped tongue
Std 4: Mrs. Lim. I hate her the most. Since she embarrassed me in front of my juniors by screaming at me at the top of her voice.
Std 5: Can't remember
Std 6: I had two. One i remember the other one no. Mrs Kamaleswary cum my tuition teacher for UPSR

What was your class name?
Std 1: IJ... Std 2: 2U... Std 3: 3J... Std 4: 4M... Std 5: 5U... Std 6: 6M...

Made friends to the lower years?
This is the scene. They know me but I don't know them. Muahahahaha.

Had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Duh... I was too buzy playing and making friends.

How was your table arrangement in class?
It was subjective to our teachers mood swings. Wakakaka.

Made any enemies?
Duh, of course lar... I wanted to be friends with this girl. Cut stories short she backstabbed me and told my other friends lies making them not to friend me. I got bullied by a senior. She took all my pocket money. Ended up knowing that she's my long distant relative. I was so so stupid I think. Then another girl forced me to be her bestfriend and I didn't want. Until she asked her big brother to call my house to threaten me to be her best bud. Haiz.... -____-''''

What games did you play?
Batu seremban, Bottle caps, Getah, Galah panjang, Playing catching on tree roots and whoevers falls of the is it, played that longkang game, there the one you step step so you won't fall into the drain. Urm that's all about it i think.

Did you buy your lunch?
Yes. I always felt the canteen food was the tastiest. Even though the canteen owner always cheated us with the quantity and price of food.

Where you a party animal?
Har... I was so small I barely knew what a party animal is...

Did you get suspended/expelled?
Muahaha I was an angel at school.

Can you sing the school song?
Sadly no.

What was your favourite subject?
Nothing. I hate all subjects except physical exercise. Muahahahaha....

Skip classes?
Never

What was your school's name?
I studied at the one and only SRK Convent Sentul.

Did you go to dances?
Nopes.

Where did you go most often during breaks?
I liked to go to places where it is forbidden by prefects. Because it seems those places has more excitement. Muahahahaha...

If you could go back in time and do it all over, would you?
Of course. I would do anything. But this time I'll enjoy it every second of it and this time maybe I want to be a naughty kid. Muahahahaha.

What do you remember most about 6th year?
I had measles and missed school for three weeks T_____T

Worst memory in 6th year?
Look at the above.

Last question by Nad. Who is your most hated and favourite teacher?
No doubt it would be that evil Mrs Lim. My favourite would be no one. Muahahahaha...

Still the same won't tag anyone... If you wanna tag yourself fell free to do so...

Once when I was just giving it a thought.

When I was small, my parents asked what I wanted to be? I answered, " I want to be a spy". I got scolded and deprived of cartoon the whole day.

When I was in kindergarten, my parents asked what I wanted to be? I answered, "I want to be an astronaut". I was given a cynical smile.

When I was in primary, my parents asked what I wanted to be? I answered, "I want to be a prime minster". I was given the 32 regiment. Make that 64 since both my parents did that.

When I was in high school, my parents asked what I wanted to be? I answered, "I want to be a kid forever". My parents cried.

My Wedding Plan

I got tagged by Nad !!! I better do it or not I'll have a bouncer after me.... Muahahaha

How old are you?
Ouch that's sensitive... But I'm pretty old lar.

Are you single?
Yes I am and I enjoy it

At what age do you think you'll get married?
No idea. Cos its so hard to find "THE GUY"... And I'm not choosy OKAY!!!

Do you think you'll marry the person you are with now?
No person how to marry. Wakakaka

If not, who do you want to marry?
I'll marry my D40 cos I know he'll capture all my moments in life.

Who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?
No one.. Cos waste of money since I have to buy clothes and stuff for them...

Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
Neither...

Where do you plan to go on honeymoon?
Paris. Cos I want to take a photo of the Eiffel Tower

How many guests do you think you'll invite?
Yor I haven't reach to that stage yet...

Will that include your exes?
I dunno...

How many layers of cake do you want?
As high as Petronas twin towers

When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
How come no midnite as an option?

Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding?
This song in "Shall we dance" movie. I can't remember the name. But its sung almost towards the end of the movie.

Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork?knife?
Duh... Of course fine dining. People remember weddings by their dining.

Champagne or red wine?
None. I want everyone to enjoy the wedding without the influence of alcohol

Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
See first how the green notes stock...

Money or household items?
Money cos money can buy household items

How many kids would you like to have?
I'm a kid myself how to have kids. Wakakakaka

Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?
Of course... I like memories to be recorded

Whose wedding plan would you like to know next?
No one.

Crazy world

13 year old kid becoming a dad!!!
8 year old kid becoming a mom!!!
Totally no words to describe the wacky effed up scene...
Blissful teenage years wasted

Just a thought I thought today....

Did you ever feel of giving up what you believe? A believe that you've held on since the day you were aware of who you are. My believes for the couple of years back has started to diminish. Its like the more you wanted your believes to come true, the more dream like it becomes. And when your believes is being put to test, it starts to show its weakness. Nah, its not that religion kinda believe.

And at this aunty age I'm now in, this believe is slowly disintegrating itself. To the extent that it can't survive anymore after countless badgering. When I was just about to discard my believe something comes up and it seems that what I've believed seems to be clearly visualized. This believe is so near yet so far. I feel that by stretching out my arm I could reach it. But its just a matter of testing the strength of my believes.

When it comes into view, I know that my believe could come true. However, the facts of the yadda yadda land pokes through and I'm brought back to reality. Oh, how I wish I had a magic wand to change my wicked heart desires.

I've found it at last. I'm happy that at last I've believed in something that I'll never regret. But its just a matter of being swept off to the mystical land. I know I can't hold on to this believe forever. How many years more can I anchor to it? Is it some kind of crazy thing to believe? Will I be able to dedicate to this new sight of believe I have?

Its just a little hope to anchor PFM to my wicked heart. I think I'll stick to it forever. This is the one that I've been looking for.

Concealment of the letter "R"

I feel extremely pissed off...
Pissed because I was treated differently. Yes, I know that most of us received this effing treatment almost every single day of our life. I am so darn sick of this effing treatment. And forgive me for the use of such profound vocabulary 'effing' as I would like to express my raging cynical expressions here.

Me: How much is this fish here?
Seller: (No answers)

Okay fine I sees that his busy so I have a look at other fishes.

Me: How about this fishes, whats the price
Seller: (Ignores)

(Dialogs were translated)

I know he his busy but all you have to do is shout out the price. And there was like no one talking to him at that time. So I loaded my basket with all the fishes I wanted and put the basket in front of him. Just like the other customers. I waited patiently for my turn. But slowly as time passed by, I noticed that customers who came way much later than me were being entertained and has already gone off with their purchase. So I just closed one eye and continued to wait. And the same thing happened. I pushed my basket closer towards him, indirectly showing that basket belongs to me. I knew he saw it because there was only my basket left. And did you know what? He entertained another customer and by the time I knew it that customer was already gone with the purchase. Fine! I said to myself. Then, I saw him hold my basket and all of a sudden he just brushed mine off and took hold of another customer's basket who just came. I had nothing to say. Nor did I want to waste my breath anymore because for that effing hour I was like pleading to him to tell me how much was the effing fish price was. So I just walked off. Well my money won't rot but your fish will, you effing fish monger!!!!!! Did I mention that all the customers were of the same color... And I wasn't the only different color there as there was another too who shared the same thing as me. Might as well you put up a effing sign and state that those fish are only sold to your color. Other colors please do eff off...

I am one of those who do not practice the concealment of the letter "R" philosophy. I totally do not approve of this philosophy. I treat each and every color equally and respect them and their believes. There's this common saying " Treat others as how you would want them to treat you"... Apparently, I'm such an idiot to hold on to such saying. Its like the more it happens to me the concealment is starting to take its place. So from now onwards if you don't respect me, the hell would I want to respect you. And you know what? I should have taken that effing fish mongers face and post it here. So that his entire business will end up in bankruptcy....

And don't advice me to be patient!!!!! Nor advice me to be good.... Cos I'm done with being good...